What ‘Cha Gonna Do When They Come For You?

As I have mentioned before, Max loves Michael Westen from the TV show Burn Notice.  Maybe it’s his aviators.  Maybe it’s his designer suits .  Or maybe it’s his completely BA (this is a family friendly blog) spy skills.  But what ever the reason, Max is completely enamored with the burned spy.  Many of his afternoons are spent running around the house in a pair of sunglasses and a suit jacket and is trying to convince my parents that he needs to go to Miami.

 

His devotion recently took an unexpected turn.  Mom left Therese in charge while she went out to run some errands.   Max was in the basement lost in his latest game of imaginary espionage and Therese was in the family room on the computer (she assures me she was reading the blog).

The phone started ringing…

“Hello, this is 911 we just received a hang up call from this number.  Is everything ok?”

The realization of what must have happened hit Therese in the face.  “Yes, we are all fine.  I’m sorry my little brother must have picked up the phone and called you.”

“Well we are still going to have to send an officer to your house to make sure everything is all right.”

After apologizing again Therese went down stairs to confront Max.  She found him hiding behind the couch and after a little coaxing she got to tell her why he had called 911.

“I wanted to be like Michael Westen!”

Therese told him that the police where coming to make sure that he was ok and to talk to him.  Max quickly crawled back behind the couch and refused to come back out.  (sidenote: he has had an irrational fear of the police ever since he started watching Cops with Miss. Jenny, a family friend.   We’ve tried to teach him that the police are actually there to help you, but he is convinced that they will chase him down and throw him in jail.  I remember one time when I pulled up next to a police cruiser at a stop light Max exclaimed “It’s the cops!” and threw himself down flat against the back seat!)

When the officer came to the house, poor Therese explained the situation to him again.  He was really kind and said that he didn’t have to talk to Max as long as he understood that 911 is only for real emergencies and not for when you are playing games.  Therese promised to pass along the message.  And I’m happy to report that she is only slightly traumatized, it’s not everyday that the police show up when you are babysitting.  Although  I’m afraid that Max’s run in with the police has torn down any progress we had made in the “cops=friends” lessons.  Guess it’s back to square one!

Max’s fan-boy devotion to all things Burn Notice doesn’t stop there.  A few mornings ago when Dad woke up he found Max asleep on the couch in the family room.  When asked why his wasn’t in his bed Max explained that Michael Westen had called him to come down stairs in the middle of the night.  The season finale was recently on. Dad wouldn’t let Max stay up to watch because school was starting soon and they were trying to get back into a bedtime routine.  Max, with a heavy heart cried himself to sleep that night.  I think it’s safe to say that he is officially obsessed!

Mary attempting to curb his obsession staged an intervention.  She sat Max down and explained to him that Michael Westen is not a real person, that he is really an actor named Jeffrey Donovan.  So now instead of professing his love of Micheal Westen, he professes his love of Jeffery Donovan.  Not quite the result she was hoping for, but it’s a start! One day at a time, right?

~ Leigh

What Max Said

This is the first of our “What Max Said” posts.  Over the years he has come up with very quick witted, zingers that leave us laughing and wondering where he comes up with this stuff!

Let me set the stage for you, it was the first night of my visit home last summer.  Max is always very sweet and clingy to whoever is the most recent sibling to return to the nest.  He loves to hand out privileges (well what he thinks are great privileges) to his adoring fans.  “Mary you can sit by me at dinner”,  “Ben you can walk me to the bus”  That night I recieved the greatest of all the privileges that Max bestows…..”Leigh you can cuddle me tonight.”

I helped him get ready for bed, we read one of his favorite books, My Mother The Cat, and said our bedtime prayers.  I had just finished tucking him in bed and was headed down the hall when I heard him calling my name….

“Leigh….Leigh!”

“What Max?”

“Are you pregnant?”

“WHAT?! No! I’m not married Max, I can’t have a baby!”

Now I have to admit that I may have eaten one too many cupcakes since my move to New York, but can you really blame me when there is a cute bakery on every corner?  “Do you think I look fat Max, is that why you think I’m pregnant?”

He giggled and exclaimed “No!”

“Then why would you ask me that?”

“Cause I want a baby!” He crooned in his sleepy little voice.

I explained that in order for me to have a baby I would first need a husband.  Then Max in his wisdom said “ok, I’ll pray for one for you!”

When I repeated out conversation to my Mom she couldn’t stop laughing!  She explained that one of our neighbors had recently had a baby and they had been at the bus stop when Max came home from school a few days earlier.  Max was ooing and ahhing over the brand new baby and couldn’t believe how tiny his toes were! This just added fuel to his baby fever!  He has always been a huge fan of babies, if he sees one on T.V. he always exclaims “Oh baby is so cute! I want one!” and when we are out and public he rushes up to every stroller we see and proclaims his love to the occupant.

Much to Max’s dismay it doesn’t look like he will ever have a baby brother named Michael Westen (yes, he is a fan of Burn Notice) Mom told him that his best bet for a baby at this point  is his sisters…which resulted in our hilarious bedtime conversation!